Captain Smirk
From MIwiki
Captain Smirk is swordtrainer who teaches the player the art of Insult Swordfighting in the first game and also provides him/her with a few starter insults. He lives at a small house at the East end of Mêlée Island.
He also has a history with the Swordmaster of Mêlée Island, Carla, which he recollects fondly as well as laughing at Guybrush's notion of becoming better than Carla. Smirk is eventually convinced to train Guybrush due to his insistance that he indeed "does have what it takes". Though he says he likes Guybrush's spirit he later admits that he has no choice since LeChuck has scared off most of his normal clientelle.
The training method he used on Guybrush was a strange contraption known simply as "The Machine".
In Escape from Monkey Island it is mentioned that Smirk lost his house to Ozzie Mandrill in a game of on Insult Gin-Rummy and was so ashamed by his defeat he left Mêlée Island.
Appearance
Smirk has an appearance which seems to be based off of actor Arnold Schwarzenegger. He is extremely muscle-bound with a buzz-cut and an ever-present cigar in his mouth. However, he also wears an eyepatch, his hair is white and he speaks like a military drill-sergeant rather than with an Austria-German accent.
Memorable quotes
- "Whaddaya want, maggot?"
- "Swordfighting is kinda like making love. It's not what you do but what you say what's important."
Game appearances
- The Secret of Monkey Island
- Escape from Monkey Island (mentioned)
